Sunday, November 30, 2008

Pulverised Records: haiku reviews

Poetic interpretations of six recent releases from Pulverised Records

Impiety -
Dominator (Pulverised Records, 2008)

Good blackened metal
Furious blastbeats, war howls
Straight from Singapore

Impiety - "Slaughterror Superiority"

Skimpy offering:
Intro, three songs, a cover
By Sarcofago

If in Singapore
What of Satan hails?

Netherbird - The Ghost Collector (Pulverised Records, 2008)

Symphonic metal
Made by Swedes with Adrian 
From At the Gates. Cool!

Netherbird - "Lighthouse Eternal Laterna Magika"

Bombast overloads
The somewhat thin production
The bigger problem

I do not enjoy
Cradle of Filth records. No
I own not a one

Those Who Bring the Torture - Tank Gasmask Ammo (Pulverised Records, 2008)

When will metal bands
Tire of war-centric albums? 
I sure hope never

Those Who Bring the Torture - "You Should Be Brutally Slaughtered"

This disc offers up
Energetic deathgrind with
A huge groove factor

Need one innovate
To bring the awesomeness? Nay.
This band's proof of that

Closer - A Darker Kind of Salvation (Pulverised Records, 2008)

The panned guitar sounds
In the first track make me spew
My vodka and yet

Closer - "What Am I?"

Upchucked alcohol
Is far preferable to
Bland Gothenburg shit

Rehashed Soilwork. Meh.
Does that sound palatable?
I thought not.  Next, please!

Guillotine - Blood Money (Pulverised Records, 2008)

Thrash ain't hard to do 
But these Swedes do it nicely
Ed Repka cover

Guillotine - "Liar"

Sounds like Kreator
Whose new Hordes of Chaos rules
Just got the promo

The Tom Waits record
Of the same name is of course
Much better than this

Hellveto - Neoheresy (Pulverised Records, 2008)

Critics want to love
Everything exotic but
I cannot love this

Hellveto - "Choragiew Ktora Splonie"

Eleven albums
In six years is impressive
Sound quality? Nice.

No great melodies
I just call it like it is
Don't kill me, pagans

1 comment:

China said...

I had a good laugh at these and they're probably more honestly written than those pesky "real reviews" with "real adjectives," but I think that third Netherbird review might be cheating a little bit.